


Snap Back To Reality

by Elphabuddy



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Bulimia, Hospital, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 10:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16784767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elphabuddy/pseuds/Elphabuddy
Summary: Heather Duke passes out at a pep rally. Mac and Ronnie visit her in the hospital.





	Snap Back To Reality

**Author's Note:**

> TW eating disorder, suicide mention, suicidal ideation

The pep rally is happening and she can barely keep her attention on it. Everything starts to spin. She has to get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. She stand before...

_Boom_

***

There is a steady beep as she comes to. She wakes up to a throbbing head, a bright white room, and the harsh scent of bleach and sickness. Her wrist has an IV and, oh, how the numbers swirl around her arm, slowly filling out her gut. Of course everyone wants to turn her back into the cow she was. She goes to yank it out before a soft voice in the corner speaks. “Please don’t Heather.”

She looks at the girl in yellow with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. A sigh escapes her. “I suppose you’re going to go on about how this is going to help me?” Duke says hoarsely.

“You passed out during the rally from dehydration and malnutrition.” McNamara says, her voice nearly a whisper.

Duke whips back to snap at her and she sees her friend is quivering. She softens instantly. “Heather? Are you ok?”

She nods, pulling the blanket tighter. There’s a soft knock on her door. Veronica comes in, wearing scrub pants and a fire department sweater. There is soot all over her neck and bandages on her face. She takes this in, confused. “You look like hell.” She blurts out.

Veronica smiles weakly. “Just got back.” She responds, handing Mac a coffee.

“How are you?” Veronica asks.

“Fine.” She replies automatically.

“You fell off the top of the bleachers and that’s the answer you’re going to stick with?” Veronica pushes.

“You’re one to talk. What the fuck happened to you?” Heather shoots back.

“You won’t believe me.” She replies.

Heather huffs out a fake laugh. “Try me.”

“JD blew up football field and I was too close.”

Heather laughs for real this time. “Bull-fucking-shit.”

“Bulltruth.” Mac murmurs, dazed.

Veronica sits at the foot of her hospital bed, pushing her own hair back from her eyes. The exhaustion is evident on her face. “The football field is a crater and JD is dead.”

“You passed out as it went off. Everyone was running in a panicked frenzy and I couldn’t find you.” Mac whimpers.

“You cannot be acting like me dying would have been a tragedy after I spread that radio clip of you around the school.” Heather says in disbelief. She winces at the volume of her voice.

Mac stands up quickly. “Are you ok? Should we leave?” She whispers, walking over to her bed.

She weighs this choice. She shouldn’t want them there after they left her but she knows her parents don’t give a shit so if they leave and don’t come back she will be alone until they discharge her. Maybe even after. “No. Stay.” She murmurs, reaching out for her friend’s hand. Mac takes it quickly, squeezing it softly.

Heather finally gives in and presses the button for the nurse. The nurse arrives with a new bag of fluids that she hooks up to her while removing the empty bag. She does her whole introduction and checks Heather for a concussion. Heather asks for something for her headache. The nurse heads back out to fetch it for her. Before she leaves she makes Heather give her a meal order for dinner.

“You know they’re going to probably watch you to be sure that you keep your meal down.” Veronica says softly.

“No shit Sherlock. They only have me until I’m somewhat nourished and hydrated. I know this stupid song and dance.” She grumbles.

“Have you done this before?” Veronica asks.

“Yeah. They make sure you eat a meal or 2 and get some fluids in, then when mommy and daddy refuse to pay for psychiatric treatment their precious little fuck up, you leave.” Heather shrugs.

Veronica shakes her head. “You’re joking.” She says, her eyebrows knit together.

“You think your parents would be proud if you were in my situation?” She asks harshly. She doesn’t try to. To her, it seems that everything about her is harsh and sharp unless it’s her pudgy, squishy body.

“They don’t have to be proud to help you Heather. When I was depressed, my parents got me help. They weren’t proud of my illness but dammit they loved me regardless.” Veronica says quietly.

The nurse comes back with her meds and food. Heather thanks her before taking a bite. Once the nurse leaves she sighs and takes another bite. The emptiness in her gets filled in a way that feels completely wrong yet so goddamn right. The voice in her head screams at her about how weak she is. She does her best to ignore it and eat slowly enough that she won’t puke it up which would make her stay longer. The void in her gut screams louder than the voice in her head.

She finishes most of the food and laughs. “Imagine if Heather was still around. I’d be ripped to shreds for the stunt I pulled today.” She mumbles before taking a drink of water and pushing her tray away. Mac gives Veronica a glance before Veronica moves to the abandoned chair and she sits next to her hip. “You know I would have been destroyed if you were gone, right? Please don’t make me lose you too, Heather.” She murmurs softly, tucking her friend’s hair behind her ears.

“Why do you even care? Why do either of you care?”

McNamara gasps, mildly offended. “How can you ask that? You are practically my sister. Yeah, so you did something shitty but losing you as well would tear my soul out. Siblings fight but they still love each other. I mean, you still love me too, right? Even if we fight?” She asks softly.

Heather wants to curl up and sob. She knows she hurt her and the trust between them yet somehow she’s being forgiven without so much as an apology. “Why aren’t you angry at me? I don’t understand you.” She growls her, guilt flowing through her veins, spreading throughout her body.

“Because I think I know why you did what you did. It was due to the fear of losing your power. If you lost it then what if people could treat you the way you treated them? What if you turn into a Martha instead of a Heather?” Mac whispers.

Duke sits stunned into speechlessness. “How did you...”

“Heather said something like that to me before she...” Mac sighs, shaking her head. “I should have stopped her. I could have. She asked me if I ever thought about dying.” She adds.

“Heather, no. That was Heather and Heather alone.” Duke replies instantly, cupping the cheerleader’s cheek.

“It was JD and me.” A dead voice in the back of the room utters.

“What?” Duke asks, whipping back to look at her.

“JD killed her and I helped. She thought it was a hangover cure. I thought it was OJ and milk with a phlegm globber. He knew what it was. I wrote the note. I was scared and thought I’d go down for it too. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop her. All I could do was clean up the mess.” She says, tears leaving trails through the ash on her neck.

Mac perks up and looks at her. “Does that mean that...”

“The only true suicide was Martha and she survived.” Veronica murmurs, voice empty as if anything good was scooped out of her. “Well, JD too but he didn’t intend to die until the very fucking end. That petition was a suicide note and the whole damn school signed it. I told him I was done with him because of the bomb. It was under the gym until I convinced him to take it outside. He hugged as it ticked down and it detonated in front of me.”

Duke turns to her. “You’re not funny, Ronnie... Don’t joke about that.”

Veronica pulls out her diary and flips through it and starts reading passages after she met JD. Mac rubs at her eyes smudging her makeup while Duke remains silent. “You’re not to blame either. It was JD. You wanted to protect him.” Mac says quietly.

“Yes I am to blame. I know better. I stayed with him after Heather. I thought it was an accident. I wanted it to be.” Veronica answers.

“No. If Heather and I did the same as you with Heather I’d think that was an accident.” Mac replies.

Veronica stares at her lap and closes her diary. The silence between them drags on, second after second, ticking past them. “Burn it.” Duke says.

“What?” Veronica asks after flinching.

“If you are as smart as you’d like to believe then you need to burn that fucking book. We heard nothing. We know nothing. Heather, Kurt, and Ram killed themselves. End of story.” Duke says calmly. “Right, Heather?”

Mac nods. A slightly more comfortable silence fills the air. Duke feels her eyes start drooping shut.

***

She wakes back up when there’s talking again. “But I can’t leave her.” Mac’s voice whimpers.

“I’m sorry but visiting hours are over sweetheart.” A male voice replies.

Heather voice is thick with sleep. “That’s for friends. She is my sister.”

“But she’s...”

“Another race than me? I know. I was adopted.” Heather snips at him.

The nurse sighs, obviously not buying it, but allows it. Heather scoots over on the bed and pats the space in front of her. Mac lays down cautiously. Duke lays her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Aren’t you tired of living like this?“

Duke does her best attempt to shrug while snuggled against her friend. “Is this fun to you?” Mac asks, holding herself together poorly.

“Why yes Heather, puking up my food every meal is my greatest joy in life.” Duke snarks, closing her eyes.

“Why do it then?” Mac asks.

Duke lets out a laugh. “You still don’t get it. You’ve never had to worry about people being disgusted by you. You’ve never had to feel less than. The perfect little head cheerleader.” She growls.

“No? I’m failing nearly every and you told the entire school. Neither of my parents wanted me in their divorce. They fought about who was stuck with me. Don’t tell me I never feel less than. And my dead boyfriend... He didn’t listen to me... I didn’t want to...” Mac shoots back, wiping under her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“They did? He r... Heather, I didn’t know...” Duke whispers, knowing she went too far.

“I’ve only told Heather. She told me to suck it up. That it was the price of popularity. Sometimes I wish I had an accident. One that somehow made me look like a monster. Men not being attracted to you can be a gift, Heather. I’m not saying you’re ugly or whatever. I just... I hate seeing you waste away like this. You’re dying slowly.” Mac murmurs.

“She was wrong. You don’t have to put up with that from anyone and your parents are idiots. You are a wonderful person and they are lucky that you’re their child.” Duke says.

They lay quietly for a while, listening to the steady beeps of Heather’s heart monitor. “Please don’t die.” Mac whispers, tearing up.

“Don’t be overly dramatic.” Duke grumbles.

“I’m not. If I was being dramatic then why do you keep getting hospitalized? Why are you weaker? Why can’t you focus on books anymore?” Mac asks.

Duke sighs. “Because I’m not eating right.” She admits.

“I can help. I’m sure Veronica can too. We can come up with things that can make the urges easier. You can call me or talk to me whenever you need. I can be here for you. I just want you to be better. Please try.” Mac whispers.

Duke pushes herself up to look her friend in the eyes. “I will try, Heather.”

“Fully try. You’re Heather Duke. You never half ass anything and you won’t start now.” Mac says firmly.

A ghost of a smile forms on Duke’s lips. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Duke lays back down and Mac pulls her in. They dream of the future until the nurse comes back to check on Duke and kicks Mac out of Heather’s bed. Duke smirks drowsily at Mac. Mac feels like things will get better. Duke falls back asleep with a silent promise that it will be better and begs the universe to allow her to keep it.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy! Hope you like this. My tumblr is @elphabuddy if you wanna follow me.


End file.
